Funny Christmas quotes

Funny naughty Christmas ecard with quote

Funny jokes about Christmas

I can't believe that Santa Claus comes only once a year, considering all the bedrooms he has to visit.

I don't believe in Santa because no white dude would come into my district at night.

When I was young I was so poor, that I didn't have a Christmas tree, only a Christmas stump...

I will buy Christmas gifts from Nike, because they are made for kids by kids.

Father to his little son: "No, it's Santa's deer, not a horse with TV antenna..."

Christmas is a competition to see which gives out first: your money or your feet.

Christmas is the time when people light so many bulbs outside of their houses, that you think they're celebrating the birth of General Electric.

In our town we can't have a Jesus nativity scene for Christmas, because we just can't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Christmas sells start earlier every year. Next Christmas is expected to start in August.

Mail your gifts early so the post office can lose them in time for Xmas.

This Christmas I got you 20 tickets of lottery. You won 3 $! Here's these...

A hug is the ideal Christmas gift: one size fits all and nobody minds if you wish to exchange it.

Santa is so cheerful because he knows where all bad girls live.

Dear Santa, give me a big fat bank account and slim body this Christmas. Please, don't mix them up like you did last year...

Using a credit card at Christmas time is like peeing your pants in cold weather.


Funny quotes and sayings about Xmas

What I hate about office Xmas parties, is looking for a new job after holiday.

I tried to send you something extraordinary for Christmas but the postman told me to get out of the mailbox.

There was only one Christmas - the others are just anniversaries.

Wishing you Christmas filled with stress, fatigue and anger. Ok, maybe it isn't pretty, but at least it's pretty realistic.

Christmas time is magical, because I buy gifts for this year with next year's money.

May your Christmas be like Santa - fat, cheerful and generous.

I once tried to be an atheist, but I gave up - they don't have Christmas holidays!!!

Once a year, on Christmas, people of all religions come together to worship Jesus...

Christmas should be a time of peace and contemplation, but who came up with the idea that there must be gifts???

Santa has the right habit - to visit people once a year.

Dear Santa, before I try to explain... could you tell me please how much do you already know???

What is the most difficult task for a man at Christmas? To make the kids think that he is Santa Claus, and to make the woman understand that he is not.

Santa-claustrophobia - a fair to to make Christmas shopping in crowded stores.

The goose wish for a Cristmas: "I want to know the truth - is there a life after Christmas?"


Funny Christmas wishes

Here you can read even more funny wishes for Christmas.

More quotes